1.07.2015

The Importance "Me" Time

I admit, I like being alone. I spent two years in college living by myself and then moved into a one bedroom apartment after graduation. Sure, it was more difficult to pay the rent on that one bedroom apartment than it would be if I had moved into a two bedroom with a roommate, but it was worth it to have my own space and my alone time. 

Before Steven and I got married my parents joked that he "really needed to live with me before committing to spending his life with me." Well, I say it was a joke, but I'm fairly certain they were serious about it. I was serious about it too. I'm difficult to live with. You can ask my college roommates or you can ask my husband. I'm know that they will agree with that statement. 

Steven and I moved in together eight months before we got married. It made the most sense financially and emotionally, and it was a decision that we were both certain about. But, even with the excitement of moving in with my fiance, I was a sad to be giving up my alone time. I was certain that moving in with Steven would mean that I would have to say goodbye to any and all time that I had to myself. 

Thankfully I realized early on that this was certainly not the case. In fact, I came to realize that not only would I still have "me" time, but that it was important to carve out time where I could get away and spent an few hours to myself. The thing is, as much as I adore spending time with my husband, I also need time alone where I can pour a glass of wine and watch Sex and the City or open a book and draw a bubble bath. 

My husband needs his time as well. Sure, his "me" time doesn't consist of a bottle of wine and Sex and the City (at least not to my knowledge..), but it does consist of things that he enjoys doing. His "me" time is usually spent playing softball with his friends or walking around Bass Pro Shop. Just a few hours a week to get away and do the things he loves. 

Early on in our relationship I felt guilty about our time spent apart. What does it say about me as a wife if I don't want to spend every second of the day with the man I'm going to spend my future with? I'll tell you what it says about me, it says that I am normal. I'm a normal women who looks forward to weekend Netflix binges cuddled on the couch with my husband, but doesn't mind spending an occasional evening alone while he plays softball with his friends. It's perfectly healthy. It's healthy to have our own outlets and our own way to unwind after a long week. It's important that we maintain our own identity even though we are building this life together. 

At the end of the day, however, my favorite part about my time spent alone is giving my husband a hug and kiss when my "me" time is over and he comes walking in the door. Because as much as I love a few hours to myself, I couldn't imagine living life without him. I couldn't imagine coming home after work without him greeting me at the front door. I couldn't imagine cooking dinner at night without sharing it with him. I couldn't imagine finding a new show to indulge in without watching it with him. I couldn't imagine working on home projects without him by my side. I couldn't imagine going to bed night after night without him by my side. I couldn't imagine going through it all without him next to me.
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23 comments :

  1. Working different schedules has been awesome for our "me time". I leave at 7am so Jackson gets his me time in the morning, and he works until 7pm, so I get me time in the evening! I felt so guilty for enjoying my time alone when we first got married, and I worried that it meant bad things for our marriage. You're so right, though! It's completely fine and even normal!!

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  2. Love this post! I would have to say I think couples who don't spend their "me" time alone probably have a harder time with their marriage. Everyone needs their own interests and hobbies and to be their own person.

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  3. 100% spot on. I crave me time. It sounds selfish but its not. My husband and I normally do everything together and I love it but you are right we each need our time alone without any hard feelings and I feel like I'm having a difficult time expressing this to him.

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  4. Such a perfect post, lady. Too many women get soooooooo into being a couple and being married that they don't have their OWN time. They just do everything their husband does, so they aren't alone. I love being with my husband, but I love my alone time. It's the time I get to just be girlie and watch what I want on TV or just clean and purge.

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  5. I feel like you are writing my thoughts exactly. It's nice to not feel guilty about both need alone time...nothing is wrong---it's normal!!

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  6. My husband and I unintentionally have our alone time. Well with his work schedule, him not so much. He works long hours and I work the typical 9-5 job, so I have that time to myself when I get home. While I do wish he could be home with me more, I think it is important for me to have that time by myself. ps. we just started a budget spreadsheet, thanks for your helpful tips!

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  7. So so so true and even more important when you bring kinds into the mix! We actually schedule it into our week, alone time for each of us. Nice post!

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  8. awwwI love this!! YES, everyone def needs their "me"!! I absolutely love being with my husband & could be 24/7, but we would go crazy without our own alone time!! That last paragraph is absolutely precious though!!

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  9. Girlfriend YES! I am so difficult to live with and would almost always rather be by myself. J and I get on just fine because I can have alone time even if he's right in the room--put in some headphones and read a book and I'm good. But when we first got married and moved in together, I felt guilty (just like you) if I wanted to go watch tv alone in the other room. Now it's just a known thing. We actually cater to my alone time. It's a rule now that in whatever house we live in (and we've lived in A LOT through our marriage) that I have "a room." It's my office, my makeup and nail polish room. It's where I spend my entire day (I work from home) and where I can go do to me things.

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  10. I love this! I think it's so important to have time for yourself. I mean, who wants to be up someone else's ass all the time? I do what I want and Ben does what he wants and we entertain ourselves in the meantime. Love love love this.

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  11. Totally agree- I get "me" time when he leaves for work in the morning and he gets it when I'm off at Pure Barre or with my LifeGroup girls. I think we both enjoy that time and it's totally normal. Mine usually consists of some Real Housewives without his eye rolls and his usually consists of some Walking Dead without my "YUCK!" comments :) I felt guilty in the beginning too, but quickly realized there is nothing wrong with it, it's healthy.

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  12. So true!!! I love "me time" but I love being with him to. I think everyone needs some "me time"

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  13. Before my relationship with Dave I was 110% against living with someone before we got married. I thought that it would prevent anything from feeling "different" after we actually got married and also for religious reasons. Once Dave and I started getting serious, we began talking about it and decided he would move in after we got engaged. I was so nervous to lose my "me" time, but so ready for us to live together. I had completely changed my mind, and it has worked out so well. We both get our alone time (even though we literally see each other constantly since we work together) we each time time to spend on ourselves. He sneaks in on my time sometimes though because he won't admit that he loves Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ;)

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  14. What a refreshing post. We also lived together before we got married which was helpful because it did teach us (both introverts) how to find ways to get that "me" time without driving each other crazy.

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  15. It's like I'm reading a post about myself. :) Love it. Love your heart. Get you 100%. xx

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  16. THANK YOU yes I need alone time!! Mg husband doesn't and he gets a little hurt when I need alone time and I feel bad but he tells me he understands and I shouldn't feel bad. I am lucky that I have a husband who is so sweet that he wants me in his arms 24/7 and supports my alone time anyway

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  17. I love that you wrote this. I think it is really important for people to understand that it may seem selfish to have me time, but the truth is it is healthy and needed.

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  18. Me time is so important!!! Sometimes I listen to other's talk about how they aren't allowed to play video games or read alone or do things they enjoy now that they live without someone and I feel sorry for them. Chris and I love spending time with each other, but it is healthy to still be your own person on your own!

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  19. I think this is so true and usually me time makes so much sense. My husband and I both enjoy our time alone and then we get to come back together and do something fun together.

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  20. Praise! This is so vital to your happiness as a woman AND as a couple.

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  21. You are so right!! I love and need "me" time.. I think it is healthy and refreshing... Now that I have a little one It is very nice to have me time too!!!
    Chelsea @ thewilliamsjourney1.blogspot.com

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  22. In gglad you realize the importance of this, Morgan. Renner it when you get ready to have children. You have to FLY: First Love Yourself.

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  23. I love my alone time too. I try to urge him to go do things, but he feels bad about me being home alone. I always tell him I don't mind, and already know what I am going todo. It's great for couples to be alone as well.

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