4.16.2014

Dating Disasters {City Sequins}

Hi guys!!  My name is Jess and I blog over at City Sequins!  I am really excited to be here today while Morgan is off getting hitched and tan...I cannot wait to see all of the fabulous pictures!
I live in Boston with my cutie pie fiance Ross and our adorable dogs, Penny and Seamus.
Since Morgan is off becoming a Mrs, I figured I would tell some stories about the dating disasters I faced before I met my prince charming!  We have definitely all been there...the crazy stage five clinger, the guy with bad breathe...the list goes on and on!  

Dating is one of the weirdest and funniest things there is.  Am I right?  It can be downright painful at times...but it gives you some epic stories to laugh about with your girlfriends, that's for sure!  I am a serial relationship-er, so my time as a single girl was definitely short...but let me tell you it wasn't boring.

Let's take a walk down memory lane...why don't we.

The Stage Five
I had a 'summer boyfriend' right after graduating from high school...which I thought would be great, since he was leaving for college in August thousands of miles away.  WRONG.  He clung to me like flies on sh*t, I kid you not.  After he tried convincing me to marry him before he left for college, he got there and only lasted 2 months before dropping out, coming back home and sleeping in his car outside of my dorm for a few months.  Pretty awkward since I already moved on to a new boyfriend.  He then applied to go to my school...and GOT IN!  But his parents had some sort of crazy intervention with him and made him go back to his original school.  Anddddd my cell number was changed.

The 'I Don't Know How to Wash my Clothes' Guy
First day of freshman year, I met my college boyfriend.  Our crapshoot of a relationship lasted all four years and into the first year of adult life...what I would give to go back and change that train wreck!!  But anyway...freshman year, this kid shows up at college...has no idea how to wash his own clothing.  Like, zero.  He's sporting his parents credit card, fancy parent-owned car, and can't even keep his clothes clean.  We went to a party one night where he puked on these kids couch so he decided to open his wallet and start handing out $20's to the guys who lived in the house.  And then he got his butt kicked.  My standards were high back in 2005 ladies.

The 'Let's Talk About Me' Guy
This guy was oohhh soooo attractive.  I just enjoyed staring at him...but that's where it ended.  He had the personality of a rock and was obsessed with himself.  Our first date consisted of him telling me the 1937529401 reasons why he thought he was just amazing.  WIN.  Oh but yea I saw him a few more times...he was too good looking, okay?  And then we awkwardly ran into each other when I moved to Utah.  Small world.

The Insecure Guy
I met this guy and at first impression he seemed relatively normal, good job, pretty good looking, very put together...or so I thought.  We went to a Celtics game on our first date, since he had season tickets (win!)...where we obviously consumed way too much alcohol.  What else is new?  Then afterwards went to the bar where he proceeded to cry about how he had lost like 100lbs but was still insecure and all this weird sh*t.  And time to go.

(via)
But really...if he looked like Zac Efron maybe I would have been more forgiving...

The Relentless Guy
When I was home visiting Boston last summer I had a man who was determined to get some one on one time with me.  We were at the bar and he was seriously relentless, despite both myself and his friends pointing out my engagement ring.  He went as far as asking me how serious my engagement actually was.  Oh yea buddy, that is how to win a lady over!

The Right Guy
Finally after all the weird, long relationships...I got the right one!  In the strangest of ways.  Meeting in Vegas, finding him on facebook, texting each other nonstop for two months, booking a trip to Utah to see him again, then moving there two months later.  All of those things make me seem crazy...but I guess for the right guy, it doesn't matter.

City Sequins

Happy Wedding & Honeymoon Morgan!  Everyone come see me at City Sequins!

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4 comments :

  1. Oh dear- how serious is your engagement...what a loser!! Stage 5 and rich guy...thank god you let those boys go!!! Wowza!!

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  2. the I dont know how to wash clothes dude sounds like my bro. I wash more than he does and I bet he doesn't even know how to turn on an oven. j/s

    Just letting you know I'm following you. Would to have you come check me out and hopefully follow me back http://nightowlventing02.blogspot.com/2014/04/hump-day-link-up.html

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